EasterIt can be quite serious. After all, it’s all about a man coming back from the dead! To keep things lighthearted, I compiled a list with the most funny quotes and sayings about Easter.
This was a lot fun to research, and I probably spent too much time doing it. There were many great quotes from philosophers and cultural icons, as well as some amazing writers. There are entries by country-western singers (Dolly Parton), cartoonists for kids (Charles M. Shulz from Peanuts fame), and even some bonesfied movie stars.
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Without further delay, here’s my compilation of 50+ Funny Things. Easter quotes, EasterCaptions, and funny EasterThese are the greatest quotes of all time.
If you’re looking for Funny EasterIf you are looking for jokes, then my post appropriately titled: 50+ Hare-larious EasterJokes for Kids
Funny QuotesAbout Easter
“EasterHalloween is a time to dress up, look your best and hunt for candy. It’s Halloween in reverse.”-Melanie White
“Good Idea: Finding EasterEggs Easter. Bad Idea: Finding Easter eggs on Christmas.”-Jack Handy
“Easter is the only time when it’s perfectly safe to put all your eggs in one basket.”-Evan Esar
“The EasterBunny ate all the carrots that we left him. What a pig.”-Steve Carell
“I wanted to give up my children for Lent, but nobody would take them.”-Melanie White
“I still believe in Santa, the EasterBunny the Tooth Fairy is true love. Don’t even try to tell me different.”-Dolly Parton
“Easter egg hunts are proof your child can find things when they really want to.”-Unknown
“That first Easter must have been awkward, because you know the apostles had already divided up Jesus’ stuff.”-William Ader
“My father was so cheap. Every Easter we’d wear the same clothes, but he’d take us to a different church.”-A. J. Jamal
“My favorite Catholic holiday is Easter. For those of you that don’t know, Easter is the day we celebrate Jesus rising from the grave and coming back to Earth as a rabbit that hides colored eggs.”-Adam Ferrara
“If you believe in the Easter Bunny, it means you believe in a fat, purple bunny, which is pooping multi-color eggs in your garden.”-Alex Antunes
“My mom used to say that Greek Easter was later because then you could get stuff cheaper.”-Amy Sedaris
“EasterIt is so disappointing. It is so disappointing. A ham.”-Garrison Keillor
“Easter has been cancelled – they found the body.”-Jim Butcher
“A guy comes down to earth, takes your sins, dies, and comes back three days later. He will make you believe and take you to heaven. How can you go from Hide-The Eggs to that? Is Jesus having an issue with eggs? Did he go, When I come back, if I see any eggs, the whole salvation thing is off?”-Jon Stewart
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“Lent was invented so Catholics could take another shot at their New Year’s resolutions.”-Melanie White
“Tell the chocolate bunny I’ll pass. I have enough men in my life who are hollow and disappointing.”-Unknown
“If you see a rabbit laying little brown eggs, don’t eat them. It’s not chocolate!”-Unknown
“A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked.”-Bernard Meltzer
“They have Easter egg hunts in Philadelphia, and if the kids don’t find the eggs, they get booed.”-Bob Uecker
“Fun fact. “Fun fact. Each year, my mom has EasterTea with Bunny, her friend. Okay not that fun.”-Carter Bays
“You’re like Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny combined – just as charming, and just as fake.”-Daniel Wallace
“Happy EasterEveryone! Jesus Christ dies and comes back from the dead. We get chocolate eggs. It’s like turn-down service from God.”-Dennis Leary
“Christmas and Easter bring wonderful treasures, but spirits and pumpkins bring far greater pleasures.”-George Tibbles
“We have Christmas and Thanksgiving, and Easter, although we’re not exactly sure we celebrate them on the right days.”-Henry De Vere Stacpoole
“The real reason Easter is on a different day each year is that sometimes it’s difficult to remember which lie you told.”-Jimmy Carr
“EasterThis is to celebrate Jesus’ resurrection from the dead. Fair enough, it is difficult to resist a packet of mini eggs isn’t it?”-Jimmy Carr
“I said a prayer that the Easter Bunny gets all his work done.”-Joseph C. Cavella
“Every day’s a rebirth. Every day is Easter. Just remember to color your eggs happy colors, like yellow and baby blue.”-Mark Ellinger
“Passover and Easter are the only Jewish and Christian holidays that move in sync, like the ice skating pairs we saw during the winter Olympics.”-Marvin Olasky
“Easter combines the best of the present with the traditions of the past – like Cadbury cream eggs with hunting and gathering.”-Melanie White
“I always felt Batman was best suited to the role of gritty urban crime detective, but now you guys have got him up against Santas, and EasterAre bunnies cute? I’m sorry, but that’s not my Batman!”-Paul Dini
“Golf is just the adult version of an Easter Egg Hunt.”-Pablo Neruda
“No presents for Christmas? That’s like Easter without high-stakes poker.”-Steven Levitan
“I’m waiting for the Easter Wabbit. Wabbit is so cute and fluffy when he arrives with his wittle basket Easter eggs… BANG! Easter Wabbit stew.”-Warren Foster
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“My mom asked me what I’m doing at Easter. I said the same as Jesus – going out Friday, coming back Monday.”-Unknown
“EasterThe most strange part of this holiday is eggs. Rabbits laying eggs and then children run around finding them and eating them thinking that they are chocolate.”-Unknown
“Any holiday which starts with a ‘Good Friday’ can’t be all bad.”-Unknown
“I’ll celebrate anyone who can turn water into wine.”-Unknown
“I’m so excited for spring I think I wet my plants.”-Unknown
Funny Easter Candy & Chocolate Quotes
“I lied on my Weight Watchers list. I put down that I had three eggs… but they were Cadbury chocolate eggs.”-Caroline Rhea
“There’s nothing better than a good friend, except a good friend with chocolate.”-Linda Grayson
“All I really need is love, but a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt!”-Charles M. Schulz
“Two thousand years ago, Jesus is crucified. He emerges from a cave three days later and is greeted by a group of people who celebrate with marshmallow Peeps, chocolate bunnies, and eggs decorated with beautiful designs. I guess these were things Jesus loved as a child.”-Billy Crystal
“Someone must X-ray my stomach to see if the Peeps I ate on EasterThey are intact and undigested, but they are still there. And I’m not talking about this past Easter. I’m talking about the last time I celebrated Easter, in 1962.”-Bill Maher
Bunnies are cuddly. I love the chocolate bunnies the best.
Follow the bunny; he has the chocolate!
Balanced eating means chocolate in both of your hands.
No matter the question, chocolate is the answer.
You can ask for chocolate when life gives you lemons.
How do I like eggs? Cadbury.
All you need is love — and a chocolate bunny.
These funny stories were fun to read. EasterI loved compiling these quotes as much a as I enjoyed writing them. This list of Inspirational Quotes is for those who want something more serious. Easter QuotesThis great list of religious resources can be found here Easter Quotes.
Happy holidays! EasterIt’s possible!
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