It is not possible to win with violence. Instead, you can outsmart your opponent and insult them intelligently without using swear words. This is also known as a punchline. Punishing or physically assaulting anyone is a crime and you’ll end up in prison with an unclean record. However, insulting others without using any curse word are not crimes.
😭 😍 😂 45 Funny Sarcastic Quotes Insult Your Facebook Friends
These 55 insulting statements are for fake friends, ex gfs and enemies. You can share them on your Facebook and Twitter to send an indirect message.
(*65*) I’m sorry I hurt your feelings when I called you stupid. You really believed me.
I’m not insulting you. I’m describing you.
It’s ok if you disagree with me. I can’t force you to be right.
I’m actually not funny. I’m just mean and people think I’m joking.
If you don’t want a sarcastic answer, don’t ask a stupid question.
I’m busy right now, can I ignore you some other time?
I was wondering how you comb your hair so the horns don’t show.
Rumors are my favorite. Amazing things always surprise me about myself.
Light travels much faster than sound. This is why people can appear brighter than they actually are.
Sometimes, people just need a high five. On the forehead. With a chair.
If you don’t like me, take a map, get a car, drive to hell. Enjoy your trip.
Sorry. I’m sorry for bothering you. I forgot that I exist only when you need me.
If I could kill myself, I’d climb your ego to reach your IQ.
I’m sorry I offended you with my common sense.
Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t know you had the authority to judge me. Who are you? God?
Ignore me, I don’t care I’m used to it anyways, I’m invisible.
I love that super cute thing you do where you don’t text me back for hours, adorable.
I’m sorry if you don’t like my honesty, but to be fair, I don’t like your lies.
I’m sorry you were offended when I called you a hoe. I didn’t know it was a secret.
I would love to be a billionaire if lying were a job.
You may think I am drunk, miss, but the next morning I will be sober.
Oh I didn’t realize you’re an expert in my life and how I should live it. Please continue as I take notes.
I’m so talented. I can listen to music while simultaneously ignoring you.
Excuse me miss, you’ve got a bit of face on your make up.
Are you always so stupid or are you making an effort to be better today?
Is your tummy jealous of all the shit coming out of your mouths?
The last thing I want to do is hurt you… But it’s still on the list.
You must have been born on a highway because that’s where most accidents happen.
Common sense is common, so why would you want to live without it?
Zombies eat brains, don’t worry, you’re safe.
Keep rolling your eyes, maybe you’ll find a brain back there.
Your mouth shut makes you sound better
I’d slap you but that would be animal abuse.
We would not have anyone to laugh at without stupid people like yourself. We are grateful for your contributions to society.
Bitch, I’d kick you in the V, but I’m afraid I’d lose my shoe.
I’m not saying I hate you, but I’d unplug your life support to charge my phone.
Your birth certificate can be used as an apology letter from durex.
I would love to insult you, but I’m afraid I won’t do as well as your own genetics.
There is an oxygen tree somewhere out there, so please apologize.
You are like the first bread piece, everyone touches you but you don’t want to be touched.
You should eat some make up, at least you’ll be pretty on the inside.
Your parents were arrested for littering when they dropped you off at school.
I’d like to see things from your point of view but I can’t seem to get my head that far up my ass.
If I had a gun that could fire two bullets, and I was in a room where Hitler, Bin Laden, or you were present, I would shoot you twice.
You have a beautiful face that only a mother can love. I bet she tells you you’re special too.
Your mom should’ve swallowed.
Stupidity is not a crime, if it is, you’ll end up in jail.
With a wet tissue, I can remove 90% your beauty.
Learn from your parents’ mistakes, use birth control.
You look like something I’d draw with my left hand.
You’re so ugly, when you were born your mom said “What a treasure” and your dad said “Lets go bury it!”
Your life is useless, just like your dad’s condom.
Why don’t you slip into something more comfortable, like a coma.
The best part about me, is I’m not you.
I don’t hate you but I’m just not necessarily excited about your existence.
Don’t blame a clown for acting like a clown, blame yourself for going to the circus.
Oh, I’m sorry. I forgot that I exist only when you have something.
Listen, I’m a nice person. So if I’m an asshole to you, you need to ask yourself why.
Don’t take yourself so seriously, no one else does.
I’d like to confirm that you don’t care.
I am sorry if I have offended anyone. Please be patient. I will be in touch with you soon.
I’m sorry that my forced apology sounded insincere, I’ll try to make it more convincing next time.
I’m sorry for what I said when I wanted you to disappear.
I’m sorry for whatever I did to make you think I give a shit about your feelings.
I’m sorry if I behaved in a way that made you think I should apologize but I won’t because I know I didn’t do anything wrong.