27 Funny Good Morning Quotes to Jumpstart Your Day

Get a cup of coffee and enjoy these humorous good morning quotes. You’ll get the impression that there’s no such thing as a morning person no matter how smart or successful you are. It’s not easy for everyone to get started at 8 o’clock in the morning. Don’t feel like you’re alone.

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It’s going to be a great morning. Especially if you get a little laugh from these funny good morning quotes.

1. Phil Dunphy, Sunrises

“Everyone should experience a sunrise at least once a day.” - Phil Dunphy

“Everyone should experience a sunrise at least once a day.” – Phil Dunphy

It doesn’t get any better to start our day than with America’s favorite new dad? Phil Dunphy, from Modern Family, has a way of using simple words. Every day does indeed start with a sunrise, and that’s the way every morning should start.

2. Richard Whately: Losing an Hour.

“Lose an hour in the morning and you will spend all day looking for it.” – Richard Whately

Whately is perhaps a little more inspiring than others on our list. to get going. You might lose your time today and be late for the rest of the day. Remember this when you put off things for the morning.

3. Glen Cook’s Wonderful Mornings.

“MorningIt is simply amazing. Its only drawback is that it comes at such an inconvenient time of day.” – Glen Cook

We can all relate, I believe. to Glen Cook here. If we all could just get to sleep for an extra 10 or 110 mins, we would all be morning people. This is the only way that any of us can be successful. toGet up and get going is the alarm clock.

4. Jarod Kintz: Dreaming.

“I hate when I dream of alarm clocks going off.” – Jarod Kintz

We can all relate, I believe. toThe sound of an alarm clock is a part of a nightmare. It is better to not wake up from a false alarm that was just a dream. The worst thing is when your real alarm becomes part of a bank robbery dream that you are unable to wake up from. GoodIt’s a good thing you have luck. toThe boss.

5. Fulton J. Sheen in 2 Ways toGet up!

“There are two ways of waking up in the morning. One is to say, ‘Good morning, God,’ and the other is to say, ‘Good God, morning’!” – Fulton J. Sheen

Most of us are in this second group, I think. Mornings are filled with reminders of work and other responsibilities. We would all be happy with a few hours sleep so we start the bargaining.

6. Rachel Caine, Afternoons

“Afternoons are hard. Mornings are pure evil from the pits of hell, which is why I don’t do them anymore.” – Rachel Caine

Mornings can be a nightmare. That’d be so nice if we could all start our day at our leisure. Who is the genius behind this 40-hour work week? This 30 hour work week is a great idea from the French.

7. Mitch Hedburg Thinks of a Beret.

“Sometimes I wake up and think I should start wearing a beret, but I don’t do it.” – Mitch Hedburg

The best thoughts come in the morning. We start. toWe can talk ourselves into doing the most insane things. There’s also that argument we have with ourselves about calling out for the day. What are the hours we have? Are these hours really worth it?

8. Robert Frost, The Brain.

“The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.” – Robert Frost

Truth is, most people have their best thoughts in the early morning. They aren’t always about wearing berets. Sometimes, we even have the ability to stop and smell all the roses. Our mind is already out of the office by the time we get into it.

9. Bob Dole: Feeling Older

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“You feel a little older in the morning. By noon I feel about 55.” – Bob Dole

This observation was made by Bob Dole well into his 60s. Many of us feel we could run a full marathon by the time afternoon arrives. Nothing would be more satisfying than enduring the morning rush hour traffic.

10. Benjamin Franklin on Obituaries.

“I wake up every morning at nine and grab for the morning paper. Then I glance at the obituary. If my name is not on it, I get up.” – Benjamin Franklin

It might seem odd, to actually end up reading your own obituary, it’s a great way to gauge your approach toThe day is now. The statistics show that 0% of people have ever seen their own obituary in a morning paper.

11. Groucho Marx once shot an elephant.

“One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I’ll never know.” – Groucho Marx

Groucho was an excellent at turning a phrase around and using dangling modifiers. This image is still funny almost 100 years later. Imagine an elephant getting into striped pajamas and a stocking cap to cover his head.

12. Robert Orben Wants to Be Rich.

“Every morning I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I’m not there, I go to work.” – Robert Orben

This morning ritual seems more logical but it’s even more unrealistic in America. The reality of becoming a newcomer to the richest 1% is less likely than reading your own obituary.

13. Mark Twain: The Most Important Meal of the Year Day.

“If it’s your job to eat a frog, it’s best toIt’s best to do it in the morning. And If it’s your job to eat two frogs, it’s best to eat the biggest one first.” – Mark Twain

Another day, another dollar. If you are a homeowner, toFiguratively, eat the frog first. The father of American Literature gave great advice. If you start with the biggest problem you’ve got, the day goes smoother.

14. Mark Twain reveals his secret

“The secret of getting ahead is getting started.” – Mark Twain

It’s tough to get started when you feel like you’re eating a frog. Fact is, you are actually a frog. toIt doesn’t matter how hard it might seem, just get started toStart by taking the first step. You will be closer to your goal with each step. to5pm (or any other time you choose to quit).

15. Lewis Black on Coffee’s Side Effects.

“I like coffee because it gives me the illusion that I might be awake.” – Lewis Black

The most commonly used drug worldwide is coffee. It’s classified as a beverage but with all the hallucinating it provides and the dependencies we develop, it should definitely be classified as a drug. Are you still awake?

16. T. S. Eliot Coffee Spoons

“I have measured out my life with coffee spoons.” – T. S. Eliot

Many of us can say this same thing, especially if you’re caught in the cycle of work, eat, sleep. Life can be measured in such a way that it is absurd. to take a step back and realize that it can’t be taken all too seriously.

17. Ursula Le Guin on Mornings Arrival.

“Morning comes whether you set the alarm or not.” – Ursula K. Le Guin

Only the alarm clock signals us. MorningIt is going toWe decide whether or not we choose toYou can participate or not. You can also sleep in later than usual, but you will delay the inevitable wake up call we all dread.

18. Willie Geist’s MorningRoutine

“My routine is to ride that snooze button as far as it will take me, take a quick shower, get dressed in the dark and bolt out the door.” – Willie Geist

The morning routine is what helps everyone survive the years of being young adults. We all remember the time we didn’t brush our hair, the time we had a shirt on inside out, or the numerous times we wore mismatched socks.

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19. Catherynne Valente on MorningBattles

“Every morning is a battle between the superego and the id, and I am a mere foot soldier with mud and a snooze button on her shield.” – Catherynne M. Valente

Our only defense against the sun rising is our snooze button. Even the most expensive blackout drapes can’t stop the sun from eventually peeking through and pulling us out of bed and reluctantly onto our feet.

20. Picasso on Work.

“Work is a necessity for man. Man invented the alarm clock.” – Pablo Picasso

What is the secret to inventing an alarm clock? It is one of those impossible question like the chicken and egg. Which came first: An early morning schedule for a 40-hour week, or the introduction and use of an alarm clock.

21. Edward Packard on Lawyers.

“The lawyer’s first thought in the morning is how to handle the case of the ringing alarm clock.” – Edward Packard, Jr.

It’s never too early toHave fun with lawyers Lawyers are always on the lookout for new ways to make their lives easier. toEnjoy every ounce of sunshine to squeeze yet another nickel out of it, it’s no doubt they contemplate the various levels of litigation in the alarm clock.

22. Jackie Chan Talk Coffee.

“Coffee is a language in itself.” – Jackie Chan

Warm mugs of java are the best thing about waking up. It’s important toEnjoy your cup of coffee. Try it! toWithout that crucial conversation, you are just trying to face the day. toEnter the Kentucky Derby on a donkey.

23. David Lynch on Bad Coffee

“Even bad coffee is better than no coffee at all.” – David Lynch

This says it all. It’s better toAccept whatever brown garbage water you can find. toYou will have to endure the first few hours without any caffeine. You can take as much as you like. Don’t go toIt is possible to fight alone.

24. James Marsden on Waking Up.


“Some people wake up drowsy. Some people wake up feeling energized. I wake up dead.” – James Marsden

My childhood was filled with excitement. I can’t remember the last time I woke up like that. I believe most people wake up thinking about how comfy the bed will be for the night. Only 16 hours before I can lay back down…

25. Jeannette Winterson on Hurting.

“Do you wake up as I do, having forgotten what it is that hurts or where, until you move?” – Jeanette Winterson

As we get older, it’s impossible to Get up and get moving. You don’t realize how bad things can get in your 20s. You can already see the downslope in your 30s. When things are stiff, it’s even harder to Get out of bed

26. Jarod Kintz at the Daily Grind

“I’m about toGet your grind on. My coffee grind. LIke a true hustler.” – Jarod Kintz

Everyone likes to cook. to Think of yourself as a badass. We are all more likely to be like that. to We grind more in the kitchen than in the clubs. Rushing is all that we do. to Get out of the door as soon as possible to avoid missing the perfect traffic window.

27. Anthony Lincicome Still Isn’t Ready.

“No! I’m not ready, this is still my first cup of coffee!” – Anthony Liccione

All of us can relate to Just 5 minutes and one cup of coffee is all it takes to make anything worthwhile. Did you ever see a vital email with an 8:01 timestamp?


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