70+ FUNNY Wedding Anniversary Quotes & Wishes

You can use funny quotes to celebrate your wedding anniversary.

funny anniversary quotes wishes

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It is not easy, fun, or even possible to marry (i.e. You may know far too much about his bodily functions.

These funny and relatable anniversary wishes and quotes are great for you. text messages, Facebook status or any way you’d likeThis is a great opportunity to share a good time together special day.

funny anniversary quotes

Below you’ll find clever and funny quotes, words, and wishes you can text, message or post on social media to celebrate your wedding anniversary and your marriage.

71 Funny Anniversary QuotesAnd Wishes

👉 Let’s start with some general observations about marital “bliss”:

In my house I’m the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.

– Woody Allen

An anniversary of marriage is a celebration of love, trust and partnership. For any given year, the order may vary.

– Anonymous

To make marriage a success, every woman and man should have their own bathroom. This is the End.

Catherine Zeta Jones

There is nothing impossible when two people love one another. Other than deciding where to eat.

– Anonymous

‏‏funny anniversary quotes and words

Police investigate the spouse of someone who has been murdered first. This tells you all you need to know about marriage.

Katharine Hepburn

If you want to sacrifice the admiration of many men for the criticism of one, go ahead… get married. If you first don’t succeed, try doing it the way your wife told you.

just sayin

Marriage is just texting each other – “do we need anything from the grocery store?” – until one of you dies.

– Anonymous

WeddingAn anniversary is a time for men to reflect on their lives before marriage.

– Anonymous

A pierced ear is a sign that a man is more prepared to marry. They’ve experienced pain and bought jewelry.

Rita Rudner

Marriage is basically just whispering, “Are you awake? I have to show this cat video.

wedding anniversary quotes

Marriage has no guarantees. If that’s what you’re looking for, go live with a car battery.

– Erma Bombeck

funny anniversary wishes for husband

An archaeologist can be the best husband for a woman: the older she is, the more interested he becomes in her.

– Agatha Christie

Husbands make the best friends to share secrets with, because they don’t listen.

thats true gif

Behind every great man – there’s a woman rolling her eyes.

– Jim Carrey

Unless you want to forget about your marriage, it’s a good idea to remember your anniversary.

– Melanie White

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funny wedding anniversary quotes for couples

Drug stores are sensitive to the realities of life. That’s why the anniversary cards and sympathy cards are right next to each other.

– Anonymous

A judge married me. I should have requested a jury.

Reading: 57+ Inspirational Get Well Soon Quotes & Messages

– Groucho Marx

Many people wonder what the secret is to our long marriage. We make time to go out to dinner twice a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing… she goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.

Henry Youngman

No matter what your looks may be, marry a man of your age. His eyesight will fade as you age.

– Phyllis Diller

To keep your marriage brimming, with love in the loving cup, whenever you’re wrong – admit it. Whenever you’re right – shut up.

– Anonymous

Marriage: When relationships go too far

– Anonymous

Marrying a man is like buying something you’ve been admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn’t always go with everything else.

Jean Kerr

Before I was married, I didn’t know what true happiness meant.

– Anonymous

anniversary wishes for husband funny

I love you more than coffee, but please don’t make me prove it.

– Elizabeth Evans

The four most important words in any marriage: I’ll do the dishes.

– Anonymous

Insurance will not cover marriage.

– Anonymous

funny anniversary captions

Marriage is a lot like the army, everyone complains, but you’d be surprised at the large number that re-enlists.

James Garner

Marriage is an eye-opener, but love is blind.

– Anonymous

We see matrimony as friendship when it is at its lowest.

– Robert Louis Stevenson

👉You can send your love to him via text message See my 100+ list For him, love messagesYou can!

Hilarious Wedding Anniversary WishesFor Your Spouse

funny anniversary quotes for husband

Here are some funny anniversary wishes to send your husband or post on Facebook:

1. “Happy Anniversary to the best first husband I’ll ever have.”

2. “A wedding band is the smallest handcuff ever made, I’m glad I chose my cellmate wisely.”

3. “You’re my favorite pain in the ass”

4. “And here I thought you were just a one-night stand. Happy anniversary!”- Pauline Thomason

5. “I shave my legs for you. It must be love.”

👉Check out my 18 adorable (sometimes naughty!) ways to do it. Flirt with your husband😊

6. “Well, we made it another year without one of us either ending up dead or in jail.”

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7. “Happy anniversary! Just imagine if our marriage was functional as you make it appear on Facebook.”

8. “I love you. You frustrate me more than I could ever imagine. But I want to spend every irritating minute with you.”

9. “On our anniversary, I want you to know how much I’ve enjoyed annoying you all this time and how excited I am to keep doing it in the future.”

10. “I’m so privileged that you chose me to be that special woman in your life who will forever have the honor of picking up your socks and washing your underwear.”

11. “I vow to still grab your butt when you’re old and wrinkly.”

12. “I still love you. Even though you fart in your sleep.”

13. “Happy AnniversaryYou are so kind! Now if I can just remember your birthday this year.”

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14. “My dear husband, I want you. To do more around the house.”

15. “I hope you keep grabbing my butt every time you look for the remote.”

funny anniversary messages

16. “I fall in love with you each and every day. Except yesterday. Yesterday you were really annoying.”

17. “All I want for next year is you. Just kidding, give me diamonds.”

18. “I love waking up next to you in the morning. Just don’t breathe on me.”

19. You have me, so I don’t know what else you could wish for. But knock yourself out.”

20. “Never laugh at your wife’s choices you are one of them.”

21. “One year down, freaking forever to go. Happy anniversary.”

22. “Happy anniversary! We’ve been through a lot and most of it was your fault.”

23. “Sometimes I wonder how you put up with me. Then I remember, oh, I put up with you, so we’re even.

24. “I love you. Thanks for killing all the spiders this year.”

25. “Thanks for being my unpaid therapist.”

26. “Being married to you is like having a best friend who never listens to what you say.”

👉My list of 14 Quotes that are ignored(about being ignored during a relationship)

27. “I know you appreciate the fact that before we were married you didn’t know there was a wrong way to put the milk back to the fridge.”

28. “Happy anniversary my love. Eat all the leftovers again and I will end you.”

29. “I love you so much I’d take a bullet for you. Not on the head…but maybe like…the leg”

30. “I love you more than carbs but less than cheese!”

31. “Sorry, no refunds. Happy anniversary!”

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32. Happy anniversary day from the best thing that ever happened to you.”

33. “I Love You So Much I’d Fight a Bear for You. Well, Not a Grizzly Bear Because They Have Claws, And Not a Panda Bear Because They Know Kung Fu… But A Care Bear, I’d Definitely Fight a Care Bear for You.”

10 Year Wedding Anniversary- Funny Wishes

funny 50th anniversary quotes

Here are some funny quotes about marriage for those who have been married for more than 10 years:

1. “Let’s do the one thing I really like to do in the bedroom. Vacuuming.”

2. “I really love you, etc. etc. etc. Can we eat now?”

3. “Overall, I love you more than I want to strangle you.”

4. “You’re still here? I like it.”

5. “After all this time, my love for you is still stronger than my desire to be single.”

6. “Holy shit. We’re still married!”

7. “There’s no one else I would rather snoring as hell beside me.”

8. “Let’s keep making memory after memory together; even though you’re losing yours.”

9. “Happy anniversary! I want to spend the rest of my money with you.”

10. “Congratulations on defying marriage statistics.

11. “Happy anniversary to my husband, who still looks at me the way he looks at other women.”

12. “Congratulations on choosing a spouse who makes you look sane.”

13. “Let’s never give up on trying to change each other.”

Funny AnniversaryGifts for Him

For the couples who appreciate marriage humor, here’s a great list of funny anniversary gifts – that will crack him up and bring laughter into your home on this special day:

1. Personalized Car Air Freshener

Can’t go on that road trip with him? no problem. He won’t forget about you or how you always smell so good with the Fresh Face personalized car air freshener set.

2. Cover for the Sleepy Head Personalized Pillow Cover

This super-soft pillowcase takes cuddling to a whole different level, with your face repeated on it over and over, so he won’t say he can’t get enough if you – anymore.

3. Right Mr. Right Mrs. Always Right Aprons

Just because you love to cook together with him, doesn’t mean he can forget who is right. This 2-piece embroidered Apron Set is beautifully made with beautiful printing.

Romantic AnniversaryGifts For Him

1. 1. Anniversary Art Canvas

2. 2.

3. 3.

Do you have a favorite quote you’d like to share? go on, don’t keep it to yourself – use the comment section below!

We root for you,


See also: The 21 Funniest Gym Quotes of All Time

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